I have moved on!

Things need to constantly keep changing doesn't it?
Well, I have changed!
I have moved on to Wordpress now!
Catch me there from now on . . . in an all-new avatar.
http://vishvrdhn.wordpress.com

http://vishvrdhn.wordpress.com/

Cheers!! :)

The first kiss

A heavenly silence swept the night sky, nothing but the mysterious sound of birds disturbed the peaceful surroundings.

Holding her fingers in mine, I looked deep into her eyes and fell in love with the stars that shone bright within those beautiful black pearls. She was MINE.

Sitting next to her, I could hear her breath on me, warm and caressing. I felt a crackle of electricity through my veins, the thumping of my excited heart growing louder by the second. She brushed her beautiful lips against my ears, and whispered softly with a heavenly voice that struck a chord deep into my soul.

“Vishnu . . .”

I fell in love with her at that moment, bewitched by her tantalizing looks I wanted to kiss her . . . Unmindful of the waves that washed my feet clean, I leant forward wishing to hold her in my arms forever.

 “Can we play the lie game again darling?” I probed.

I looked at my beautiful baby expectantly. She looked up at me with her tender eyes...eyes that spoke a thousand words of love.

 “Vishnu, plz . . . I never want to listen to you saying that you hate me even if it is just a game.”

My heart missed a beat. She is ONE awesome woman, I thought.

“You mean the world to me Vish . . . Every inch of my body is yours. Take me.”

“I just need your heartbeats darling . . Nothing else.”  

And we looked into each other’s eyes never feeling the need to break the silence prevalent between us. Time flew past us. Words were a luxury. We were lost in love. Totally.

“Kiss me Vishnu . . .” she said suddenly, breaking the calm of the night.

She was sitting just an inch from me now. She put her fingers into my hair and slowly pulled me close to her. I could feel the hair on my body standing up. My brains ceased to work. My heart was pounding aloud. I felt a sense of excitement and fear together.

I could just see my reflection in her eyes. It was too close. Way TOO close.

I could feel the brushing of my nose against hers, and her beautiful soft lips touching mine. I was in heaven. I closed my eyes and lost myself totally to her.

I never knew who kissed first, but, the taste of her amazing lips lingered on mine throughout the night.

I just knew one thing. I would prefer her lips as my food till the end of my life. And beyond.

“You bit my lips Vishnu, idiotic puppy!” she barked cunningly, looking at me with her naughty eyes.

And suddenly we looked at each other and for no reason, we started laughing our heads out.

“You are a doggy then!” I claimed.

“Never...I don’t even know to kiss properly. But, I guess you are an MBA in kissology. French kiss Expert!”

“Liar!!!! U ate my lips not me. Doggy!”

And we argued and argued before I pulled her close and kissed her once more.

That night, I became hers forever.


                                                                  ***

There was still just one nagging thought in my mind when I recollected the amazing kiss I shared with my beautiful Maya . . .

.

.

.

Does a puppy know how to French-kiss?

The crossroad dilemma

I was smirking as I saw my friend staring intently at the computer screen in front of him.

“How to tie a tie” it said in bold capital letters.

Wow, of all the atrocities of the modern world, this one takes the cake!

“How in the world can you learn to tie a tie by looking at a computer buddy?” I taunted.

“I just figured out that we can’t, so zip the talk and help me out dude!” he shot back.

Caught on the hop at the crossroads of theoretical and practical knowledge, I realised that I wasn’t alone; almost the entire world shared the same dilemma as I did. Dimly lit was the pathway to both the roads, I was nonplussed and so was everyone else.

Theoretical knowledge lays the foundation for a successful career ahead. Experts in the field claim that a person without an MBA degree is like a chicken without its head. It is an absolute prerequisite in the flea market of jobs in today’s world. The three letter suffix prefixes marriages too. “Any fiancé as long as they are MBAs” seems to be today’s mantra. Henry Ford must have felt proud.  After all, whatever we read today in management has already been researched upon standing the test of time. Ground-breaking knowledge available at fingertips. We become masters the easy way. Who’d miss a free cake if they see one? So, even though mounds of books scare us white and make our knees go weak, we still stick around to witness another day. Thanks to the devil in our minds that always says “What you SWOT is what you reap”.

This then makes me think! Did we as babies learn from books to walk, talk and sleep or did we learn to drive a cycle through Google? There are only N things that we can read from books, but, infinite things to be learnt from real-life. We cannot read minds as we read books, there’s no use of a Dale “How to be successful in public speaking” Carnegie if we don’t climb the stage. That’s what management fests provide you. The chance to be THE change. We cannot read about leadership traits and behavioural theories and just expect a smooth relationship with Mr.tom, dick and harry. We can discuss so many things about financial crunches and ways to tackle it, but, it is much more than just a bunch of theories and formulas. It leads to acute pressure, it brings brutal burdens and ruthless saddles that weigh people down and drives them mad. 

We can all acknowledge that we cannot make a pizza without a pizza base (revolutionary thought, maybe I should patent this quote!). Practical knowledge without a foundation of theory may lead to more harm than good. Couple both of them together and you have a deadly cocktail that makes the world bear you on a palanquin. So, it means that I was mocking my poor friend for no reason, I go back to saying that you CAN look up how to tie a tie in Google, but, ultimately you have to put into practice what you learn so that knowledge becomes your skill.

We as future managers of the nation must understand the fine difference between a glass half full and half empty. The ethics of management cannot be taught, it has to be nurtured. In the incubator of theoretical knowledge, an erudite baby is born. We have to develop it feeding practice as food everyday. The gap between being wordly-wise and worldly-wise is huge.

The best way then to learn management? Unlearn preconceived notions, participate in management fests, be part of the organizing, work with teams, people with varying mindsets, egos and cultural backgrounds, drive people towards a common goal, inspire them, motivate them, mentor them, lead them, balance a financial sheet, volunteer for events, understand your strengths and weaknesses, analyse your opportunities and threats, market yourself, come to a consensus, take a census, think on your feet, brainstorm for ideas, involve in a focus group, bring in endorsements, celebrities, meet people on the job, meet others off it, sign deals, contracts and value them, speak up, speak against, speak for, step on the stage, master the ceremony, play around, fool around, learn life, prepare for the bumpy but highly exciting road ahead. Are you ready to take the plunge? There can never be another better opportunity to test your growth than to participate in a management fest and feel the pulse rising, heart pumping, adrenaline drenching, goosebumps inducing call of life. Whether you take a step back and settle for the worst, or you step forward with courage and belief and embrace the challenges of the real practical world, it is upto you. As of now, you are just standing at the crossroads. As the light dawns and clears the hazy air, you notice a third middle path. Dare to think beyond?

A unbroken dream . . .

It kills me from within when I speak of the pain I go through now. Things left unsaid, I cannot let my emotions speak. I have to hide those tears from my eyes and give her a weak smile, a fake smile. Pain. Ultimate torture. Hiding someone’s love just because the other person does not reciprocate is a feeling worser than death. I prefer being killed, slaughtered right here, right now instead of being in such a position. I pray to God that none in this world, not even my enemies, should go through such an intense emotional trauma that I go through now.

It pains you to hide your love and put on a false brave mask of friendship. A veil to just stop your feelings of intense longing to be with her forever. I do it with a smile, because I don’t want to lose her. I do it with a smile because I love her. I do it with a smile because I cannot live without her in my life. I do it with a smile because she gives me those smiles. I do it with a smile because she is the reason I live.

After living in dreams so divine, sharing my entire self with her, and giving her my heart to take care of, I find myself alone. TOTALLY ALONE. The heart that beats for her is safe…with me. It fails to beat further as it knows that the girl it loves can never caress it nor care for it. And, when she mentions that she wants to be my sister, the end of the world is visible. Oh god, why should I go through such a mental state? Did I commit such a great sin to be treated this way ? is loving someone such a great mistake ? why do you kill me but don’t really kill me ? Am alive, but, am dead.

When she mentions it to a guy who loves her that she has taken me as her brother, she felt so happy. She cares a lot for that guy feeling bad that she spends most of her time with me. She wants him to know that she is always closest to him and that she will always care for him the most in this world.  Why else should she have to mention that I became her brother? God, it pains me! I hate living in this world. I don’t need to live longer. God, let me come to you.

 It kills the most when two people who could have ideally become the best couples in the world would become complete strangers the next moment. My case is worser, I’d have preferred to go away than stay and get hurt every second. But, I still stay strong, ready to act, put a false mask again, put on a smile again and stay with her as her brother if that is what she wants from me. If she loves him the most in this world that she would consider telling him that I become her brother so happily, wowww…then let it be. God, I beg u. I don’t need this. Please take me away.

Here’s to the gal I love the most in this world. . . Tomorrow when you wake up, I will be awake already. Tomorrow when you wake up, you will treat me as your brother, you wont speak the way as if nothing has ever happened between the both of us. Whatever happened between us is not even a memory. It’s gone. Now we will be brothers and sisters. If u are happy with him, stay with him. I realise how much you love your parents and how much you care for him. I know you feel hurt whenever he feels hurt. I know you wanted to make him happy by saying that am just your brother. He is the perfect man for u in your life. As for me? I loved spending each and every moment of my life with you…those beautiful moments in the canteen, in restaurants, cafes, shopping malls, cinema theatres, buses, autos and those moments in the rain. J U are such a great gal dear, your parents are very lucky to have you in your life. I have never seen a woman love her parents the way you do. I’m proud of you, of whatever you have achieved, of whatever you will achieve in the future. Am leaving you forever sweetheart, after these two years. I will never come into your life again after you achieve your dreams. I’m staying with u just because I want my baby doll to be the best in the whole world…and I know you will be J and till that day when I finally disappear from your life, I wil stay with u… as your brother, just the way you wanted me to be. U can be happy with him. Don’t deny yourself. Everytime you call him through the day waiting to see if he just picks up your call…wow, you wait with lots of care…which shines through your eyes dear. He would trust you and love u even more since you made me your brother. Go. I will always be there for you sweetheart, if you need me.

God, you know how much I love her. You are the only person in the world who can understand what I go through now. Please take me away as soon as possible. Darling, you were mine, you are mine, and you will be mine. I cant live without you, I will forever take care of you with all my heart, my soul J and you know I will. I will always love u forever. And you know I will. And we will always be happy together….you know we can. If we marry, we would be the best couple in the whole world. And you know we will. I will never go to another gal in my life and I will take care of your family like my own. They will love me. And you know they will.

I love you beyond my life, I will always love you till the day I die and even after that I will. I just hide it every single time. Tears are falling from my cheeks now darling, I love uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. Goodbye sweetheart. Wish you the best married life and all the best for your career and your future dreams. you will achieve them all and make me proud. J Even if I’m in heaven at that time, I will surely smile at my little baby winning hearts and winning the world. Take care of your hubby, and please take care of your little babies when you get them. Who knows? I can maybe take a rebirth and come as your kid. I’d be the most luckiest baby in the world J

Failure . . .

It totally sucks when I fail or get embarrassed in front of a big crowd. It sucks when you aren’t able to capture the audience and charm them into liking you. It hurts me. It kills me. I don’t like it one single bit. I feel that the best thing that I can do is to cut myself into pieces and throw it to the winds. Ok. Stop. Maybe I’m just speaking with pure hatred. Maybe I didn’t get so embarrassed in front of the crowds. Or, maybe, the entire episode was a dream. I don’t give a damn whether it happened in my dream or in reality. It happened. End of story. End of my life.

I have been fed the success pill every day. I need to keep pushing my limits, I need challenges, I need to rock every time I climb the stage. I realize now though that it is highly impossible. It is highly a biased bullshitting of myself. People did like my show. Doesn’t matter. Only some did. Impossibility is a term that I never deem worthy to think of. I-M-POSSIBLE. Every Tom, Dick and Harry of this world has a certain talent inside them. I know that I’m talented on the stage. I know that I can set the stage on fire given a proper entry. People don’t want my entry here. They want my exit. They don’t want my success here. They want my failure.

I have a few things to say to them. Just bring it on. Try to do whatever you can to put me down. Try to kill me and lay me inside a coffin. Am game. Just try it. Let’s have a duel head to head instead of just hiding in the crowd and booing when nobody notices. I don’t give a damn about you. I know that I can win hands down. You want to throw me a challenge? Just do it. Each and every one of you in the audience, I have to tell you what you already know. I failed today. But, I want to tell you all something that you won’t know. I will rise from the ashes of this defeat like a phoenix bird. I will not rest till I win you all over. I will not rest till I succeed and keep piling successes on top of this failure that it disappears deep into the ground. To all my enemies out there. Beware. A Scorpio can sting bad. A Scorpio WILL sting bad. Here’s my challenge to you all. Try to screw me, fcuk me, kill me, hate me, shit me . . . I will leave my legacy behind.   

Hazards and Hazare . . .

Anna Hazare is a rockstar. A 74 year old man has the entire nation at his nimble fingertips. Though he ceases to speak after a continuous fast of 8 days(running), he has managed to stir a nation awake from it's 64 year old slumber.

I was abroad the Spice Jet flight recently when it passed over the Marina beach, and I could see the sea down below. But, it was not just the plain blue sea that I saw. There was something more. Infact a lot more. I could see a sea of people flocked together, waving the tricolor, chanting and shouting slogans and though I could not hear them, I could sense their passion and patriotism flow through my veins and from way above the clouds I felt the hair raising sensation of being an Indian.

Contentious though is the Jan Lokpal Bill. Let me try to understand what the government wants and what the country needs. First and foremost, I hated the way Anna Hazare threw a fast without any sense of logic whatsoever. I mean, I might get brickbats for saying this...but, we can't throw a fast and expect a bill to be passed. I understand all the crap about democracy and the freedom of expression talk..! So, if you want a bill passed then gather a group of people, threaten a fast, fast till the doctors pronounce you to be on the verge of death, get the government flummoxed and sweating and blackmail them to pass a bill ? Atrocious. Imagine if tomorrow any youngster takes his cue and makes a big fasting fuss to create publicity ? Freedom of expression must ofcourse be curbed. You can't expect everyone to walk down the street naked just because we are a democratic country.

The ideal way ofcourse was to talk it out, sit down like gentlemen and speak. Ofcourse. It never would have been so easy. But, then who else had to rule the country than the UPA government ? From the frying pan of scams and corruption into the fire of anti-corruption act ! They will all curse Allah and Shiva and Jesus for the soup they are swimming in. So, citing differences with Anna Hazare, they introduce the famous "JokePal" bill that was an overwhelming superhit(notice the tongue in my cheek).

As I see it, the Jan Lokpal and the JokePal have several contentious issues. I disagree with the Prime Minister not coming into the umbrella of the Lokpal wing. Though I understand the logic behind the government thinking that the the PM will have several weighty issues of taking care of the nation than answering to the public scrutiny while in office, including them in the Lokpal purview will make them realise that they are answerable to the 1.2 billion heartbeats of the nation. When taken in the right view and with no hidden agendas whatsoever, it will surely transform the PM into the greatest leader of our beloved country. The leader has to lead by example. He/She has to be the first one to say that they are ready to be scrutinized. If anyone is accountable to the debacles of our motherland, it has to be the PM.

The minimum punishment under the Jan Lokpal is ten years !! So, that means that if a policeman gets 50 rupees for letting you off without imposing a fine, he gets ten years of imprisonment ? Wow ! That's something. The JokePal is more worthy here, it has a window of six months to life imprisonment. If the Lokpal is an independent body without any intervention from the Supreme court, then there will be two parallel bodies of justice in the country. Though it may seem to be the way out, it will lead to more confusions. Lokpal will be an independent body not answerable to any of the judicial courts of justice. Which will mean two High Courts in each state, and two Supreme Courts in the country ?!! Preposterous !!

The government also came up with something along the same lines saying that the CBI and the Lokpal will be independent of each other. That's funny. Who will take care of corruption then ? The CBI or the Lokpal ?? The two anti-corruption bodies must be allowed to merge and work together on common issues.

Anna Hazare also stated that the Jan Lokpal will involve and undertake all complaints against corruption !! So, if a layman gets cheated of 2 rupees while buying a cool drink, he will get the same body to take care of his charges as will a 1.76 lakh crore scam. Imagine the manpower required and the amount of complaints that may come in !! 1.2 billion people...! If just half of the population have just one grievance each...that makes it 60 million !! 60 million grievances to be solved within a one year duration ?? 1.64 lakhs of grievances per day !! Now, it seems gigantic doesn't it ?! And, am only taking HALF the population of our country.

The issue where he undoes himself is the NGOs not coming under the purview of the Lokpal. Everyone of us know how many money laundering NGOs have come under critical review in recent times. Case in point, Satya Sai Baba, Nithyanda, Baba Ramdev's unaccounted millions. If the PM is under the Lokpal umbrella, everyone MUST be under it too. It's ALL or NONE. You can't have two bites of the same apple.

The best way out is to bring the Lokpal into the parliament for discussion and for Anna Hazare to stop his fast. It may all be well and good for us to shout slogans and sings praises of him, which he thoroughly deserves, but, fasting is never the way out of any situation(imagine tomorrow's world...everybody mind end up fasting to pass a bill..) !! Understand me perfectly. Am not against Anna Hazare. Am not supporting the government. I feel proud that the nation is rising against corruption. But, I urge the government to sort the issue out soon. Let's put our thinking caps on and remove our hearts from our sleeves and do something substantial for the future of our country. Jai Hind !!

(I know I will get a lot of brickbats for my view, but then it's the freedom of expression... :D !! Comments welcome !!)

The ironies of the heart . . .

5th August, 2011

As the day draws to a close, it's funny to realise how much the heart yearns for attention even though you are a big man in the corporate world. It's funny that we keep craving that somebody showers a little love and care on us every single time. We don't ever get tired of getting noticed. After all, it comes free.

So, as the entire family was shopping for my sister, I was looking around like a headless chicken in a swimming pool. Come on guys, I am here too !!

It gets even more irritating when your mom finds you to be the best man for selecting items for your sister. "That black shoe is better for her mom" "That sari will suit her" "Those bangles will look awesome with the saree" "Buy that chain too, it'll be a nice combination for that bangle" and suddenly your mind comes up with random thoughts "Hey buddy, your mommy is using you..!!" and then it pounds the message into you "Dude, she hasn't even thought about you for a second"

As you seem to realize that your mind is probably true, your heart fails a beat. You don't like to be sidetracked. Not even if you are 21 years old. That is MEAN. Period.

Negative thoughts should never drive positive thoughts away, but, this was one incident that will remain etched in my heart forever. I went around the shopping mall buying stuff for myself, all the while learning to bargain and pester the shopkeeper to keep following me around till he reduced the price of my Lee Cooper shirt from Rs. 875 to Rs. 200. It was so much fun. . . :D

And, finally when I showed my mom the 3 t-shirts that I got for myself, she suddenly remembered that she had a son too and came up with puppy faces and dialogues out of watching too much cinema "Oh poor kiddo, I didn't buy him anything" "Come..let's go buy something". I didn't want any of those false showers of love and my bitter tongue came to the fore and said "That's alright mommy, I can buy stuff on my own"

This is a lesson for myself in my quest to be the perfect dad. One day, when I adopt kids, I want to be a great father to them. I want to grow everyday even as my kids grow. And, I will promise my kids right now that I will never ever overlook the other in my quest to satisfy their whims and fancies. I will understand that girls need to be spoilt for choice, and, I will also understand that boys have a heart that craves equal attention too.

I want to raise my boy and girl together hand-in-hand as the best father in the whole world.

Deep regrets . . .

At wit’s end, I would confess to a truth that I hate to acknowledge.

Am the most difficult person to live with. Period.

No use denying the fact that though I can make friends easily and move along with them all, the one thing that stops me moving forward is love.

I cannot love, I cannot confess to losing myself to anyone else, when I suffer desperately from the love of my past. Even though it has been a long time since then, my heart still prefers to beat for her and for HER alone.

I have tried everything.

I have tried to kill my thoughts about her, forget her, removed her contact from my phone number, but, damn, I cant remove it from my memory. So, everytime she messages, the same familiar number crops up, and my thoughts come flooding back.

I have to tried hanging out with friends, family and even practical strangers in a bid to forget.

I have tried to fix my thoughts on other things, planned to achieve things in life so that finally I can get lost in the mounds of work and dreams that I orchestrated and get to forget her at long last.

I have tried moving on, that was the biggest mistake of my life. It hurt not only me but the gal who was my best friend till the fatal happenings. I’ve spoiled both her life and mine.

The only thing that is possible to get rid of the trouble am giving others is that I must move on. Never ever will I commit myself to another relationship. I want my space, my mind, my dreams intact. I will go off to a place where I can be of trouble to no one.

I loved you too much. That is the truth. That always will be.

Sorry my dearest friend. I cannot bear to hurt you any longer.

With deep regrets,

Vishnu

Virtusa, Loyola and what not . . .

July 19^th, 2011

As the day draws to a close and lets the night sky take over, I can’t help but feel amazed at the amazing beauty of the stars hanging around in the pitch black blanket that encapsules the world. It does hold mysteries beyond human comprehension.

As I finally manage to painfully bring my eyes downward I notice my Loyola call letter I clutch tightly. Life is atrociously beautiful. It’s a sin to be so resplendent. Damn you God!

The fact that I cracked another interview will do me a great favor as I can finally concentrate on entering my dream company, Virtusa!

Virtusa? Is that my dream company(??) you might ask. To all you people who didn’t hear me out properly the first time around, I repeat again. Yes, Virtusa is my DREAM company. I worked my ass off for getting into it, and I remember that the time was exactly midnight when I finally realized that I was in!

An executive MBA in LIBA will do me a world of good, I seem to be IN-THE-MOOD these days, I’m working all through the day, sometimes during the wee hours of early morning too . . . just to prove to my lazy self that I can infact work when tough times come calling!

My secret dream: A salary of 1 lakh per week, an educational institute, a trust, a medical hospital for all those deprived destitutes. The day I achieve my dream, that’s the day when I will finally call it quits and retire :P Kudos!

Lost . . .

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Amidst the sands of the infinite ocean I lay,

The moon gleams and makes me think of you,

I close my eyes and feel your warmth beside me,

Your arms caress my chest with oodles of love,

My heart flips at your touch, and stops beating,

I look up at your heavenly face, so perfect in the moonlight,

Your beautiful eyes with a depth like the oceans beyond,

Sensing your lips next to my ear, I feel bewitched,

You move closer and I can hear your breath on me,

My hair stands on end, oh, so transfixed in the moment,

And with a smooth, silken voice you whisper “Vishnu . . .”

My veins crackle with electricity, I long to hold you in my arms,

Never to let go, my hearts yearns for your smell,

I grope around in the dark and I find just emptiness.

Oh my dear, we are miles apart, I can hear your laugh,

To watch you leaving is like a sword to my heart,

My future in tatters, I can hear our unborn child’s cry,

Your dry eyes betray no emotion, unforgiving,

I succumb to tears, watching you leave . . .

Lost in lost love, I cry aloud for the both of us,

Because my dear, I know you will not cry for me.

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Sin-food-life

(my thoughts about a female prostitute)

In the dark dungeons of my dreams, lies a shocking revelation,

A truth buried and obscured in the deep reaches of my heart,

Better to be hidden for good, than revealed, the voice of my soul.

And, when I did sleep under him, it was pleasure for money

And, as the vision of my corpse rose towards the heavens,

I felt complete, an odd sense of satisfaction of a cause well done.

I lost a losing battle against the man on top of me, bereft

of all compassion and pride, come-passion and crime,

I was entangled, the electricity flowing through my veins,

and, as he kissed my lips, a tear fell from my eyes,

reaching the lower echelons of my bed that was my graveyard.

I kissed my child goodbye, not knowing if we could live another day,

In the final moments, I ran my fingers through every inch of her,

And, as I thought about her future, I felt sick, deprived

Of everything good, what have I left her with except myself ?

I gave myself up to this man, I couldn't remember his face,

Because through him I saw my only child, and her cry for food.

Food comes at a cost, no cost too big for a mother to pay,

I was prepared to pay with my life, another extreme end,

And, when I cried in pain, it echoed of my child’s laugh,

Through the tears that lingered in my eyes, I smiled at her,

I could feel her caressing fingers on me, I was going back to her,

Victorious in the race against time, I got my pay, a heavy package,

And I rushed out of the room to my beloved, and I kissed her,

And together we went out to eat.

Seminar on life . . .

Introduction:

Since the seminar was an activity cum speech I thought that it would be better if I could try to reproduce the dialogues I spoke so that we could get the feel.

Subject:

Hey guys! Let’s start off this seminar with an activity!!

Point your index finger out and repeat after me!! When I say where the ceiling is? You need to point to the ceiling and say there! Where’s the floor? Point to the floor and say there!! Come on!! Everybody after me!

Where’s the ceiling? “THERE…!”

Where’s the floor? “THERE…!”

Where’s the door?

Where’s the window?

Where’s the future?

“Everywhere… “

Some blank faces!!

The answer to that is you need to point to yourselves!

Have the courage to know that YOU are the future!

Have the courage to believe in yourself!

Have the courage to know that each and every one sitting in this room have the future in their hands and they can make or break it!

The future just doesn’t happen!

We need to create it!

Coz we own it!

Let’s move forward!

Pointing to someone…

“What’s your age? “

“18…”

“Ten years ago, did things turn out the way you wanted it to be? Did things turn out the way it should be? “

“….no….”

“Five years ago….? “

“ … No… “

“Three years ago? “

“No...”

“Last year? “

“Definitely no…”

“This moment? “

“No...”

Things never did turn out the way it should be…

“Five years from now, will things turn out the way you want it to be? “

“..Maybe…”

“All the things?....”

“No…”

“Ten years from now…?”

“No…”

“Thirty years from now will things turn out the way it should be?”

“No...”

“WHEN YOU DIE, WILL THINGS TURN OUT THE WAY IT SHOULD BE?”

“F**kin hell no… “

From the time you’re born, till the time you die, things will never turn out the way it should be!!

LIFE IS HOPELESS!!!

Consider this, you’re playing a cricket match and you need 50 runs off the last over! You know for sure you’re gonna lose! That will take all the pressure off you, won’t it?

“Yeah…”

Will you play without fear; will you play without any pressure? Will you enjoy playing the game?

“Yeah… “

That’s what I want you to get!

When you know you’re gonna lose in the race of life, play freely!

Play fully, give it your all

And then give some more!!!

How many of you out here have stage fear?

Slowly hands begin to rise! More than half!!

“Ok… I don’t know what stage fear is!! Please explain the sensation to me!!”

“You get butterflies in your stomach, you get nervous, you can’t speak, your hands start to shiver… “

That’s what is stage fear?

“Yeah... “

Is that so? Then even I have stage fear!!

Blank faces….

Yeah... how many of you think that I committed grammatical errors while speakin?

Some hands rise up…

Even as I’m speaking to you I’m nervous and my hands are sweating! Do you think I have stage fear then?

“No…”

Then what is stage fear?

STAGE FEAR DOESN’T EXIST!

It is something which we create as an excuse to not bein brave!

Stand even if it means to stand alone!

Move forward even when no one follows!

How many people come from the past and say I’m not good enough! I don’t belong! I suck!

When you flunked in your exams… I’m not good enough!

When you failed in something… I don’t belong! I suck!!

You know what’s stopping you from moving forward and hitting your dreams?

It’s you!

The only thing that’s stopping you is you!!!

You know what you need to do with these considerations?

I write on the board…

I don’t belong! I suck! I’m not good enough!

I take a step back, draw back my hand and then BANG!

I slam the board!

That’s what you need to do!!

There are two ways of running a race...

Looking forwards towards the finish line and running!

There’s also another way!

Looking backwards and running (imitating)!

Why don’t racers run that way?

Surely they won’t know where they’re running to!!

You know what the funny part is (laughing a bit along with the audience)…

THAT’S WHAT WE HAVE BEEN DOIN IN THE RACE OF LIFE!

Pin drop silence…

Every time we run our race, the past comes out in front of us and shields us from our powerful future!

You move forward, you move backwards, you move forwards, you move backwards…

WE’VE BEEN STAGNATIN IN OUR F**KIN LIVES!

You know what you need to do?

(I pick up a water bottle.... place it on the stage...)

Whenever you run and the past comes in front of you, catch hold of the past, and thrust it into the bottle….

Catch hold... thrust it in...

Catch hold... thrust it in...

The bottle is getting filled up… quarter filled... half filled... 3/4ths…

You know what you need to do with the past now?

Pin drop silence...

I take a deep breath and…

Kick the bottle across the stage!!!!

That’s what you need to do!

I’ll finish by doing the activity once more! Can we?

“YES!!!!!!!!!!! “

Where’s the ceiling?

Where’s the floor?

Where’s the door?

Where’s the window?

Where’s the future?

Pointing to themselves “HERE…..!!!!!!!!!”

Result:

Though I never want to be pessimistic if I could help it, some hard truths need to be told flat in the face! Considering the overwhelming response I proudly declare my seminar as a success!!

Trust fall . . .

Let’s do something different! I’m sure you’ll be bored if I repeat the last seminar again!

We’ll do another activity!

For this activity, I need one representative from the audience.

Venkatesh stands up…

Applause breaks out…

Venkatesh, here’s what I want you to do…

Face the board…

Stand on the edge of the stage…

When I say 1…2…3, you need to fall back…

I’m not responsible if you break your head!!!

“Ok…”

1…2…3…

He just steps back and acts as if he fell…

No… I want you to really fall… fall on your back…

He shakes his head…

“Of course not…”

Ok… let’s give him an option…

Call four people from the class whom you can trust the most…

He calls out… 1…2…3…4…

Here’s what I want the four of you to do…

Hold hands and when venkatesh falls, catch hold of him and push him back…

“Ok…”

Ok… 1…2…3…

He falls… they catch hold of him and push him back onto the stage…

They all depart to warm applause…

Ok… What do you think you got out of the activity?

Niki got up and said “You need to fall in life to be able to move forward… failures are the stepping stones to success…”

Good… but what do you think was different between the first and the second case of the activity…

“In the second case, he didn’t have any fear…”

Bang on the head…

I just wanted to tell you…

There are 3 types of friends…

Consider I’m running a multi-million dollar company and that I’ve lost a part of my money…

Well, I’m sitting there crying and the first friend comes in… he sees me crying and he also starts crying…

Does that help?

“NO…”

Well, I’m still sitting there crying and the second friend comes in… he says “it’s all fate… you can’t change it…” he consoles me… does that help?

“NO…”

Man, I’ve already got loads of problems, I’m looking for solutions…

I’m still crying and the third friend comes in… he sees me crying… throws an arm around my shoulder and says… “So what if you’ve lost a part of your money? You’ve still not lost ME! What’s a friend for if he can’t help you out of your troubles… come, together, we’ll recreate your business… together we’ll push your business back to the same level… if not, we’ll take it to the next level…”

Does that help?

“YES…..”

Just look around you… how many friends you have whom you can really trust?

Well… I just wanted to say this… I may not hang out with you guys at pizza corners or coffee days, but, when you need help, I’ll be the first one to lend my shoulder… no, not for you to cry on… but as a support for you to move to the next level… Trust me… Will you?

“YES….”

I walk for the second time, back to my seat…

Silence is no answer . . .

(this DOESN'T reflect my current state, its just a poem..so, read on)

Finally I look into your eyes,

Bursting to question you about our past,

Blurred and tinged with rust,

I deny that you are finally not mine.

Through life’s storms we rode,

Hand-in-hand, lost in love,

And, suddenly the sky darkened and I lost grip,

Your hand was slipping away from me,

You were moving too far..too fast.

I struggled to come to terms with your loss,

Even now, I cry…night in and night out.

Why did you leave me for someone else ?

What did he give you that I could not offer ?

I need answers dear, I see you here..happy with him.

My own unhappy future breaches through,

My soul eaten up by your cunning thoughts,

You played with me, my heart…my life.

And, still I cant hurt you, nor hate you.

Tell me why…you went away leaving me alone,

Groping in the dark for your hands, for your love,

My eyes meet yours questioningly,

I need reasons, I need answers from you,

But, please don’t look at me like that dear, I fall in love,

Turn your face away and tell me why…

Silence is no answer.

Virtusa

December 16th, 2010.

So, finally I can say with a certain amount of pride that I have been recruited in one of the leading companies in America, Virtusa :) And, boy, the process of selection of the final list of candidates for the company took a long time ! whew ! and, by the time I had finished it was 12 o clock in the night. Talk about love for the job ;)

The entire selection process was a mind boggling routine, we had three VERY difficult rounds and I was almost starved for breath...Talk about mind-freak...this will surely rank as one amongst them :) The first round was a written test, that had six sections (!!). Reading was ok, writing was the easiest, but, then came the tough part. Aptitude was totally different from what I had expected, and, they asked us all sorts of questions from a variety of domains, visualization, and, problem solving..I was famished but the end of it ;)
Then came C programming and believe me, it was very tough, they had six problems extending to many pages with all those >>,<<,^,* operators, it would take a professional about ten minutes to solve and we only had 5 minutes to solve it ! :(

Let's cut out the boring talk now, and get on with business :) We had to wait three hours for the results to be announced and only 20 people in the end were selected for the technical and HR rounds. 20 out of 430 students, wow, that's something :)
The technical interview was a different ball game altogether ! The interviewer, Mr.Jo went through my resume and found that I had compered various stage shows in college, and so he went on to ask me all sorts of...well...HR questions ;) HR questions in a technical interview..unbelievable !

The interview went on for 40 minutes and by the end of it, he was very impressed with me and said to me that I have a very interesting personality ;) He said I'll ask the HR interviewer to handle me and I was like "Hey !! you didn't ask me any technical questions !" I was pissed off, after all, I had studied technical and practiced over 450 programs just so that I could clear this round..! and, so, I pleaded with him to PLEASE ask me atleast one technical question and still he deemed it best to disappoint me ! poor me :(

The HR interview was amazing, I was in my elements and words were flowing like a river meeting the sea :) I knew that I could get placed by the end of it all, but, still the tension was unbearable. We had to wait till 12 o clock in the night to know the results and one by one the names were called out...They were announcing the names in alphabetical order(which I didnt realise till later) and, so, with every name being read out, my hopes were beginning to diminish...1..2..3...10...11...I thought i was screwed :) and, then they read out the name that mattered the most to me and it was like "and, the last one in Virtusa is Vishnu Vardhan" :) :)

I can never forget December 15th, 2010 for changing my life :) and, though I have job offers from various companies, I love the fact that passing the virtusan test was the most difficult challenge I had to face, and, maybe, for that reason alone, I will surely be a future employee in Virtusa :) Cheers to life !

Fingers crossed

December 14th, 2010.

My fingers are crossed and am finding it a bit difficult to write on my blog ;) My placements start tomorrow and, I gotta tell you...Am very excited ! I've given my best in terms of preparation, I've taught aptitude and various other sections related to the selection process to all of my friends, and now the real battle is between them and me ;)

I believe that winning alone is a selfish act, winning with the team and growing along with your colleagues make victory taste even sweeter.. please forgive this bit of advice, your eyes must be sore after reading this, ;)but, this is one of the dialogues that i will tell my employees tomorrow.

The last two days have been a hectic frenzy for me, what with me attending one of my friend's (numerous) cousin's wedding function...and, boy, didn't i enjoy myself there ! I was the official photographer for their family and I had a great time with my little gang of friends too..We were playing games based on profession...I have to admit..the next generation youngsters know TOO MUCH :)

Am planning today to catch up with mr.surya's movie, Raktha Charithram, which i heard is a bloodbath :) I dislike the word "bath" in any shape or form, but, I still urge myself to see it..just for you surya,(just understand my liking for priyamani). RGV may be a maverick director but still he is lucky to direct a beautiful actress..God DON'T bless him please :)

My sisy is hounding me to drop her at her friend's place, it seems that a man with an activa as his vehicle can still become an official chauffeur IF and ONLY IF there is no other means of transportation available (which means mom is unwell). Mom had to take an injection on the place that she has to sit, and, so, she is lying on her bad sideways up. ;)

That leaves me alone with you Mr. B, and, am afraid that something might happen to me with you for company...So, with any further ado, i will escape your clutches and hope that my v***********y is safe. :P Meet you tomorrow, hopefully with an offer letter..but, dont dream too big ! And, keep your fingers crossed too :)

I love you Mr. Blogger

December 11th, 2010.

So, finally am back from my pretty long hiatus !! I started to think that my creative juices would cease to flow and that I would be left high and dry by my brains, but thankfully it forgave me for avoiding it for so long :)

Lots of stuff has been happening in my life recently and am really looking forward to on campus placements that take place from the 15th of this month... My college is getting a remodelling done on the entire campus recruitment procedure and through some hocus pocus(read money), it has succeeded in bringing in some of the best companies in India. Wow, that's something :)

As far as my personal life is concerned, I can tell you that it looks very rosy...God, am getting carried away ;) Lots of friends, lots of enemies...life has never been better. I started to write today because of a very selfish reason....there is an essay writing section in almost all of the placement papers and so, I didnt want to lose out because of the cobwebs that have settled on my blog. Am sorry Mr.Blogger, please forgive me for being so selfish, but, am NOT just using you...I love you ;)

So, now that you know am back, we can make up for lost time and hopefully with a bit of luck, we can kindle that old romance back again ;) don't you like that Mr.B ?! Man, am just acting so GAY :P

Anyways, Mr.B it's time for me to get out of here, I will catch you later...Don't move on to some other guy...please ! I would be unable to bear a heartbreak like that...am always yours and you are always mine ;)

Death and life

Standing on the edge of life, ready
To jump into the abyss of death, I stood still,
Looking back on my lost love, I felt betrayed,
Left alone by the one whom I loved the most,
Beyond life, beyond imagination, I began to lose my breath
Again, I began to nauseate, I couldn’t take it anymore,
Thinking of her killed me, her smile cut through me,
Blood oozed out, all my love, all my soul, and I felt

Alone…

I jumped…

Pitched head first into darkness, I knew the end was near,
I was approaching the bottom, I closed my eyes, and waited,
For the crunching noise of my love-sick head on the rocks,

Waited… waited… waited…

I was flying, this wasn’t death, this was something else,
I felt bliss, the brilliant sunshine in my eyes, I could feel
Secure arms around me, holding me close, a chilling warmth,
I thought I was dead, but, I somehow found . . . LIFE.

Surely an angel from the heavens, I found myself again,
Lost myself in love again, sharing passions, dreams, desires,
Our two hearts beat as one, destined to cross paths,
She is my god, my present, my future, my sunshine, and
I bloomed with her unselfish love, my past lay…

Forgotten. . .

Am back !

Dead...

When death reaches out for us, I pray,
That I die before you, I’d never bear to be
At your funeral, to see your lifeless face,
So beautiful even in death, or, touch your forehead
At the morgue, I can sense tears in my eyes
Even thinking of it, dear, so I pray…
Someday when I’m dead, you can talk about me,
To your grandchildren, and then I hope they say
“granny…he loved you so much…”
And I want you to not cry at that dear,
But, to smile…your beautiful smile.