Hopeless...

I’ve hopelessly fallen in love with you,
My hands are bruised, there’s no coming back,
Every action of yours, every emotion,
That flick of the eyebrows, the widening of the eyes,
That smile that beats a thousand lights,
The motions of your hands, the swish of your fingers,
The tender voice, a whisper, but oh so divine,
Sometimes, I just wish I could tell you,
But, no, when I do gather the courage,
I try approaching you, I see you by my side,
I walk towards you, your eyes light up on seeing me,
A smile written across your face, you wait,
I smile back, my steps toward you gaining pace,
Though I walk, I dream, flying in heaven, bliss and joyous,
You draw closer, your face becomes clearer,
And still you prefer to stand than approach me,
Butterflies in my stomach, a churn, a moan,
My palms sweat, my heart races,
Three more steps…two more…one more…none…
Silence prevails, I can see, my reflection in your eyes,
Tension breaks, “Hi…I need to talk to you…” I utter.
“tell me dear..” you say and wait expectantly,
Oh it was at that moment, the wind blew a strand of hair
Onto your face, and I again fell hopelessly in love.
“what’s up ?” your eyes question me,
I look up into your eyes, a million thoughts run,
I want to say to you, I love you,
I want you forever in my life,
I want to hug you and make you mine,
But, I get lost in the beauty of your eyes,
And even as the world seems to blur,
My tongue finally gathers courage enough
I stutter, I stammer and finally I say…
“Nothing…Nothing...”
And I hopelessly fall in love, again.

The pain...

My heart aches, numb and broken,
My eyes moist, my thoughts sad,
I know I’ve lost you to that someone,
I know you’ll never feel for me again,
You move on, a new relationship,
Maybe, an occasional hi or a bye,
Maybe, a false mask of happiness,
When I’m around… I know it’s difficult,
But, please do this for me dear,
I love you so, you’ve fallen for him, yes,
But, avoid me not…Oh dear, how can
I get to forget you, to erase you from
My memories..? Sometimes, it’s better,
To let you go, you seem happy when
You’re with me, but, though I can deny it,
You are much more happier when
I’m not around….Oh God, Life is hopeless,
Love is unconditional, but, the pain…
The pain alone is real.

Agony...

Every morning and every night,
There’s not a second I’m not thinking of you,
I know it’s useless to,
But, what else could I do ?
God, please help me out.
Love is a wicked gate of thorns,
I’m trying my best to withdraw,
Trying my best to not let the butterflies
Flutter when you smile, when you laugh,
When you speak, when you look at me,
But, I surrender, meekly…
How is it that you are able to stop
Yourselves from loving someone,
Teach me too, for I desperately want to.
I have but one bad habit,
And that is loving you,
Futile and fruitless though it may seem,
What am I to do…?
Help me oh God…

An empty heart...

Oh my dear friend,
Throughout my cursed life,
I’ve been living lies,
Been denying myself the joy,
Of being there for you forever,
All I’m left with now,
Is an empty heart.
I have always loved you,
Wanted much more from you,
But no, I stopped myself,
Just for the sake of friendship.
It’s a pain, for you hide your love,
You hide your heart’s desire
But, I’m not sure how you’d have taken it,
For you, Friends are just friends
and lovers are strangers.
Oh dear, I still cry thinking of the day
When I finally need to part with you,
Give you away to someone who
Doesn’t deserve you and love you,
On your wedding, I’ll be the saddest man on earth.
They say to win a diamond, you lose gold,
I lost everthing, just to be with you,
I love you more than anyone else does,
But, I know, six years from now,
I’ll lose you too…
Oh dear, Is there no way out ?
I need to stop writing now,
I’m crying…
But, still all I’ll be left with
Six years from now,
Is an empty heart.

A pool of blood...

Memories fade, incidents decay,
Voices turn to whispers,
Life moves on, leaving behind those,
Who can’t help themselves,
Time flies and anger yields,
Only the pain lingers.
Bubbles threaten to burst,
Squabbles turn to fights,
Life starts at eighteen, but,
Oh, ends, so awkwardly nineteen.
The trauma, the storm swallows,
Pride, ego and love forgotten,
Twists and turns treacherous,
Whips and burns pleasure us.
Lying in a pool of blood, a lake
Of death, a girl of nine raped,
A father of two, devil’s advocate.
Tongues out, A boy of twelve hangs
Peer pressure oh so loud,
Sex the key, the key to fame,
At fifteen, your fifteen seconds of fame.
Love for babies never so well proclaimed,
Time and tide wait for none, oh so ashamed.
Trials and tribulations, jails and revelations,
God waits, What we sow we reap,
What we reap makes us weep,
Life hots up at eighteen,
Hookahs, cigarettes, wine and beer inviting,
Nineteen is in, bring it on,
Clubs, pubs, discos, the young fad,
Ass, how dare you, that’s my gal !
Knives out, wrists sliced, love is pure,
So is death, and so is sorrow.
Fighting for a cause never got any bigger,
Twenty, and kids turn men,
The world soars, our lives sours,
And still we wait, the police included,
For God to come and wield his magic.

A storm...

My life ceases to flow, ceases to be colored,
Rendered black and white, bereft of its soul.
There was a time, when I had been a leaf,
Floating down the river of life, guided by the
Currents, God’s hand gently pushing me through,
There was a time, when I had been a drop of rain,
Looking so divine on the perch of the lotus,
A thousand lights flowing through my body,
Like heaven on earth and an abode of the being.
A storm spread its magnificent wings,
Spreading fear and hate in its wake,
The river began its tumultuous journey, and
I was lost in the shadows of the sea, crushed,
Never to float again, never to love again,
Never the same leaf again, oh so innocent.
The sun shone black, the sky turned white,
My life ceased to flow, my life ceased to be colored,
The lotus sank into the mighty God of water,
And I too drowned, as a drop, as a messenger
Of life’s pitfalls, Of God’s satire, oh so alone.

Hero...

Most of my life’s been one living hell,
I’ve had my back broken and my dreams shattered,
I’ve had my achievements wiped clean
With a whole lot of filth and dog’s shit.
I’ve had my back to the wall all these fuckin years,
I’ve been given a coffin to lay in and die,
Death, by the hour, by the minute, nail by nail.
No matter how many times you rise,
No matter how many times you triumph,
That coffin lies open, waiting for that one moment,
one slip, one fall, one bad move,
waiting for that one fuckin mo’ when something goes wrong,
It’s entire life is about lying in wait, crudely,
Cunningly, Ever so willingly for that elusive slip.
Oh, damn it if I fail to escape its clutches,
Damn it if I fall into its grasp,
Fuck, I want to live my life,
Go on, go on you dumb asses,
Try bringing me down, try pulling me by the leg,
Try to screw me, fuck me and spit me out,
I will leave my legacy behind.

Razor's edge...

I've been asked by quite a few of my blog's long time readers(yes.. I do have my followers..!! Check my profile views if you still don't trust me..!) that i must try to cut down on the level of english that I use (which is very low compared to normal standards anyway!). So, this poem is dedicated to all those people. I hope you enjoy reading this....

I’ve heard things about you that
I would like to believe aren’t true,
I’ve heard things from you, that makes me doubt
Whether our love for each other is really true,
I’ve noticed you talk to other guys,
But in a way that causes me discomfort,
Sometimes, that innocent laughter, the smile
That you share with the others cut me up
Like a razor’s edge.
I’m not comfortable with you mentioning
The guys so freely and so openly,
The fact that they’re calling you out someplace,
And the fact that you meet up wit them too.
I’m not sure why this feeling cropped up,
But, yes.. I’m jealous. I’m egoistic.
I want you for me and me alone.
You are the reason of my every dawn,
You are the reason that I live today.
And I want that reason to stay forever, mine.

Exams...

Well, when exams approach,
A sea of change is inevitable.
A blind eye, a deaf ear,
We seem to suddenly put down,
Those mobiles and the net lies
Untouched, perhaps for the better.
Long walks become quicker,
Long talks turn shorter,
Those dust-laden desks get a new life.
Butterflies enter your stomach,
We feel headaches more often,
And of course nausea and hysteria.
Everyone is on their feet,
Or, you can say on their butt,
Studies, studies, studies…
Atleast for today, atleast for now.
When everyone else is working,
Their asses on fire and assets on hire,
Why is that I don’t even feel a tinge,
Or atleast a hint of fear?
Why ? I’ve not even prepared, I guarantee,
But, why ? why don’t I feel afraid.
The answer is beyond me, but,
Sometimes I do feel sorry for the others,
Sometimes I do feel sorry for myself,
That trace of fear, that sweating of the hands,
The heart beat that betrays concern, panic.
University exams come calling tomorrow,
And here I am, the remorseless hero,
Writing these thoughts on my blog.
Well, what can I say ?

Stand up...

Times will change,
Sometimes for the worse,
Sometimes for the better,
Change is inevitable,
And so is age.
As we move on,
We wonder at life,
Make it or break it,
We are better for the experience.
Sometimes, when things
Aren’t always in your favor,
We just want it all to stop,
The pain, the torture is so much to bear,
That we might consider losing,
Just an abrupt end would do fine.
At all such junctures,
It doesn’t matter if you win,
It doesn’t matter if you lose,
The important thing is,
To hang in there,
Against the odds,
It will seem like a victory.
It takes a lot of guts,
To stand up for others,
But it takes a lot more,
To stand up for yourself.

Lose it all...

I’ve grown to be great,
Learnt to be nice to people,
Learnt to stand deep and courageous,
Learnt to tackle problems head on,
But, all I can say is…
I’m a failure…
People don’t love the guys who tend
To over-achieve, admire them, yes,
But, they never fall in love with them,
Sometimes, I just want to lose my spot
In the limelight, just to be just as lucky
In love.

DOPE...

This is my attempt at implicating DOPE. Check it out. Contains EXPLICIT lyrics.

What the fuck do I have to say
To the asses who poke their noses,
Into my butt, shit their life up
By screwing mine ?
Well, you bastard, come on,
Bring it on, I’ll smack you across your
Pretty ass and swipe your face with mud,
You jackass, deserving hell, come,
Speak to me to my face,
Look me in the eye, don’t grab
My shit and smear it across your bloody chest.
You dumb ass, do you think I can’t go
Around, spreading news about you,
Are the only one with a mouth that spews acid ?
Look at yourself, a Mr. Bean of this world,
Dog, don’t you least have a poodle to date ?
Where’s your parents ? Just look at them,
Blaming fate for giving them you,
I feel pity on them, but, ass, why should I care
For you ? A damn, A dime, An ounce of emotion..
No chance, you twittering jack, you faltering cow,
You lumbering ass.. You want to fight me ?
Come on, try. Game on, dumbo.
Stab me in the front, suck me out,
But, you tube, don’t try to screw me from behind.
I’m waiting.. We’ll match wits, life invites,
Ready to battle, you bumbling brain,
Throw whatever you can at me, go on,
I promise you, I’ll crush you and lay out
Your worthless carcass as a warning,
for those who dare to spike me from behind.
To hell with you, my friend.

I'm a MAN...

The ones who keep searching for food,
to keep eating,
The ones who indulge,
in cheap gossip,
Those who lose hope and give up,
Those who hurt the feelings of others,
Those who grow old and lonely,
without any help to the society,
And those who finally wilt and die,
Blaming fate for their failure,
Are the people who are,
God's GREATEST mistakes.
Oh, my dear man, did you ever think
that I would be one among you ?

Together, hand in hand....

Life will change color and paint us red,
Slowly our paths will begin to diverge
and our footsteps will start to fade,
There’s no telling where this world will take us,
No telling what each other’s fate holds for us,
But, one thing’s for sure,
No matter what happens, nothing will ever change,
To the point that we are not friends again.
Busy schedules and busier households beckon,
Friends will be forgotten and families forged,
Occasionally, we might look to the stars or to the shadows,
We will still find each other and still care for each other.
The world is round, and our circle is too,
We’ll forever be meeting up, chatting, catching up,
But, will it be wit all that innocence, or childishness,
Veils of family will separate us, threatingly,
But I just hope that our friendship survives
Throughout it all, and rise above it all.
I will be with you forever and you all with me.
Let the world throw its snakes at us,
We will stand tall, steady and focused,
Hand in hand, the might of God will fall,
And we will rise towards the heavens,
Together, in fame, success and life.

The stranger in your life...

Looking back, I fear to think of the future,
I fear that I may not be a someone in your life.
The memories of those golden moments,
And the pleasure of living them out,
Will elude me and give me pain,
The future looks bleak and pale,
Oh… How I wish I was that stranger in your life.
Sitting by you, I realize
I can never hope to have you,
I can never hope to share my life with you,
Rain and thunder rolls and brings me ecstasy and sorrow,
Oh the joy I get out of being with you
Can never wipe out the ache of realizing I can
Never be with you forever, by your side,
Happy and content in our own world.
Maybe, just maybe, we will be
Together in my dreams.
Together facing the world,
Facing the storm,
In each other’s arms.
Oh how I wish I was the stranger in your life.

One last time...

I find my soul heavy with untold love,
I’m here dying, leaving you behind,
Long after you go to sleep,
I still wait for that one misplaced dream,
That we may share together,
One last time, I wait for you,
To smile that lovely smile.
Oh, my heart aches with memories,
I can’t take it anymore, any longer.
How am I to live without you, baby ?
Oh dear, does it not ache, does it not pain you
To see me waiting for you every day,
Does it not bother you to see someone
Who loves you more than himself,
Oh baby, I’d live and die for your smile,
I’ll forever be by your side, lying in wait,
For that one flicker of emotion,
One moment of betrayal of
All those times, the greener pastures,
On which we wrote our love together,
Only to be brought down crashing,
My grave strewn with our love’s ashes,
Long before the pastures turn yellow.
I have no hope of living it out again,
No way that we could make it back again,
But, please, oh dear, please,
I wait for that one misplaced dream,
That you and I can share together,
One last time.