Deep regrets . . .

At wit’s end, I would confess to a truth that I hate to acknowledge.

Am the most difficult person to live with. Period.

No use denying the fact that though I can make friends easily and move along with them all, the one thing that stops me moving forward is love.

I cannot love, I cannot confess to losing myself to anyone else, when I suffer desperately from the love of my past. Even though it has been a long time since then, my heart still prefers to beat for her and for HER alone.

I have tried everything.

I have tried to kill my thoughts about her, forget her, removed her contact from my phone number, but, damn, I cant remove it from my memory. So, everytime she messages, the same familiar number crops up, and my thoughts come flooding back.

I have to tried hanging out with friends, family and even practical strangers in a bid to forget.

I have tried to fix my thoughts on other things, planned to achieve things in life so that finally I can get lost in the mounds of work and dreams that I orchestrated and get to forget her at long last.

I have tried moving on, that was the biggest mistake of my life. It hurt not only me but the gal who was my best friend till the fatal happenings. I’ve spoiled both her life and mine.

The only thing that is possible to get rid of the trouble am giving others is that I must move on. Never ever will I commit myself to another relationship. I want my space, my mind, my dreams intact. I will go off to a place where I can be of trouble to no one.

I loved you too much. That is the truth. That always will be.

Sorry my dearest friend. I cannot bear to hurt you any longer.

With deep regrets,

Vishnu

Virtusa, Loyola and what not . . .

July 19^th, 2011

As the day draws to a close and lets the night sky take over, I can’t help but feel amazed at the amazing beauty of the stars hanging around in the pitch black blanket that encapsules the world. It does hold mysteries beyond human comprehension.

As I finally manage to painfully bring my eyes downward I notice my Loyola call letter I clutch tightly. Life is atrociously beautiful. It’s a sin to be so resplendent. Damn you God!

The fact that I cracked another interview will do me a great favor as I can finally concentrate on entering my dream company, Virtusa!

Virtusa? Is that my dream company(??) you might ask. To all you people who didn’t hear me out properly the first time around, I repeat again. Yes, Virtusa is my DREAM company. I worked my ass off for getting into it, and I remember that the time was exactly midnight when I finally realized that I was in!

An executive MBA in LIBA will do me a world of good, I seem to be IN-THE-MOOD these days, I’m working all through the day, sometimes during the wee hours of early morning too . . . just to prove to my lazy self that I can infact work when tough times come calling!

My secret dream: A salary of 1 lakh per week, an educational institute, a trust, a medical hospital for all those deprived destitutes. The day I achieve my dream, that’s the day when I will finally call it quits and retire :P Kudos!