Imperfect...

Three years have passed, flown like the wind,
All that remains are the memories of you and me,
Together, the happiness, the joy, the pain, the sorrow,
And I wonder if I’d forever be a fool,
Loving you, yearning for you, your smile,
Oh...but, I remember, the days you’d just look,
Past me, not daring to meet my eyes,
The pain, the torture, was something I couldn’t bear.

I’m tired of crying, of trying to explain,
What did I expect from you ? Love ? maybe…
I’ve tried to move on, to forget you…
But, when I close my eyes…all I see is you.
All the times I’ve cried, it has no meaning,
Tears are only for the dustbin, I understand,
The hurt, the pain, it kills me...but, still,
I’m not able to stop…’coz when I close my eyes,
All I see is you…

You ask me to prove my love by dying for you,
And I say NO…not because I’m afraid of death,
I’m just afraid there’d be no one for you,
In your future, you’d need me, to face your fears,
Hold my hand to win the world, I want to be around,
To teach your children, grandchildren, my dearest…
Doesn’t matter if you care not for me, but, you do,
You accept me as the imperfect guy I am.
My affection for you is eternal, it will never die,
I will never be able to stop, because, when I close my eyes,
All I see is you…and all I want say to you is…
I love you.

The night...

One day you will turn around and ask me,
“How much do you love me ?”
And with a blank face, I’d look at you,
And say, how can my love be measured ?
It’s like the ocean, infinite, vast, and never-ending,
My love can never be measured, it’s not
How many times I say I love you,
It’s just how much I really do, one day,
I’ll look up into the starry night sky,
And I will look for the moon, for in the moon,
I see you my angel, they say loving you is wrong,
But, I say to them, I never want to be right again,
And, I will always love you, through the length,
Breadth and depths of my heart, my dearest,
I know my time is short, you will marry someone,
And I’d have to say goodbye to you, but, never
Will I stop loving you, you are my heartbeat,
Why am I afraid to lose you when you are not mine ?
For that I have no answer, but, sometimes I believe,
Saying goodbye is just a painful way of saying,
I love you….

Tears...

Just promise me this, one day
when it’s time for us to part,
to take the different routes God
gave us, you’ll look back, and,
remember the times we spent
together, once your tears have dried,
and your spirits soar again, you will
sit back, touch your heart, take these
poems out and read them, a tear
will fall from your beautiful eyes,
and I just hope that wherever I might be,
In India, America or heaven, I’d be
By your side to wipe your tears,
Not physically, but, atleast in your memories,
You’d remember that this guy wanted you
To never cry again in your life, and,
Out of the respect for an idiot who loved you,
You’d lift your heavenly fingers,
And just wipe the tear off your cheeks,
And say to yourself, this one is for you Vishnu.
And I promise you, wherever I might be
At that point of time, I will sense your actions,
And I will smile, and fall in love again.

I love you...

Back to poems...! I'm kinda rusty, so...bear with me.

As I lie in my coffin,
I realize that it’s too late,
Too late to come back to you,
Too late to spend more time with you,
Too late to understand I can never love you again,
Pity… All the good times had to end,
The dreams abruptly broken, reality disheartening,
Threatening… to take the breath out of me,
Already dead… I see you through my lifeless eyes,
Tears flowing down your beautiful cheeks,
The cheeks that I can never kiss again,
Oh…I wish to throw my arms around you,
To hug you and say I love you…
But the walls of this coffin allow me not…
Dear, I never knew you loved me as much…
Your tears betray your true feelings,
Why ? Why ? didn’t you tell me…?
I’d have lived to see you happy, lived to live with you,
But, then, all was lost, I didn’t have a chance to win you,
No point in sticking around I thought…a mistake.
God, please give me back my soul,
I’ll come back to you later…
But, now, I just want to wake up, break this wall,
Rush to my beloved, hug her, kiss her and say
I love you.

All the world's a stage !

"All the world's a stage". In the current scenario, the adeptness of this thought strikes me as fascinating. Here I was, flying into college with clipped wings, hoping to find friendship, love, joy, ecstacy and what not. Two years have passed since and I'm wiser for the experience. Suddenly, I found my bag full with soulmates, best friends, so-called friends and fakes. People never miss an opportunity to steal your 15 seconds of fame, and the more you begin to flourish, the more they begin to flounder. Too much of my life has been wasted in living for the ones who never mean an ounce for me personally. In fact, I tried to adjust, tried to cut down on my attitude, chained myself down just so that these fakes stop passing rumors about me. Whatever I do, every action, every emotion of mine seems to them as an attempt to sabotage their plans of impressing the opposite sex.

In that sense, I myself am a faker, putting on different masks while interacting with these guys. I imagine that my interaction will bring us close and make them stop passsing rumors but they never change. Either they are just looking for an opportunity to pull me down or waiting for my one elusive slip, to be able to rejoice at my failure. Sadly, they spend all their time spying on me that they don't find time to acheive something for themselves. Sometimes, it hurts but you've got to live with it. There's no time in life for brooding, right ?

It helps that I have a gang of unbelievable friends, to be able to support me emotionally through these difficult times. It sounds cliche, but the value of friends is something you can never write about. It has to be experienced.

So, I'm sure that when I pass out of college into the real world, I'll be coming across even more competition, even more jealousy, even more controversy, even more fakes. I never feel the need to be unhappy about it. I'm quite sure that I'll also be coming across even more joy, even more ecstasy, even more friends and even more soulmates. Cheers to life !